Anime in Kindergarten
by DragonBall787
Summary: AU/Crossover Fic! Co-written by DragonBall787 This is the story of Naruto Uzumaki: The new kid who moved into Class C4 of Shonen Jump Elementary School. He will undergo many adventures and challenges with his new friends, as he learns how to control his powers and find his place.
1. Chapter 1

Note: The following is a fictional parody. If you are offended easily, please leave and have a nice day

Edited/Co-Written by DragonBall787

Chapter 1 - The New Kid

In Shonen Jump Elementary School, it was midway through the school year. There was hype about a new kid for one class, Class C4. It was a quite rambunctious class, often getting into the craziest misadventures...these misadventures would change the life of Naruto Uzumaki forever.

"COME ON NARUTO!" Minato shouted as he tried pulling his child who was gripping onto a pole.

But he wasn't going budge, "NO! I DON'T TO GO HERE! MY OLD FRIENDS ARE BACK AT MY OLD SCHOOL!" He whined and tightened his grip.

"Grrr, I'm gonna need the butter for this one," Minato said as he let go of Naruto and walked towards his car.

Meanwhile another car pulled up and did a 360 degree spin, and 3 kids flew out. One had a straw hat, the other a blue top hat with goggles and blonde hair which made him more noticeable than the other two, and the last one had another straw hat, but his was much more taller than the others.

"OH NO I'M LATE! MR. COLGREEN IS GONNA KILL ME!" The short boy with the straw hat screamed as he rushed up the steps and tripped in front of Naruto.

He rubbed his head in pain while looking up at Naruto, "...Woah, you must be the new kid!" He stood up and pried Naruto off the pole without any effort.

Minato walked over and dropped the bucket of butter he was carrying out of shock and said in relief; "Phew, thanks kid my wife was going to kill me..."

The child nodded and spun enthusiastically, his eyes morphed to stars as he pointed towards the sky, "I AM MONKEY D. LUFFY! Local hooligan and future King of the Pirates!"

Minato and Naruto turned towards each other and blinked, clearly confused. Minato coughed, "...Ok then, there are many things wrong with that statement, do you know what a hooligan is?"

Luffy blinked, "Nope, but my friend Ichigo's dad calls me one all the time!"

He then laughed and gripped his backpack straps, "You're late, blondie, you better get to class or else Mr. Colgain is gonna yell at you!"

"Wait...I thought his name was Colgreen!" Minato said in sheer confusion

"Colglide?" Luffy asked, then turned and walked away from the two, whistling a tune.

Minato got on one knee to look his son in the eye, grabbing his shoulder as well to make sure he was paying attention.

"Listen, Naruto I know you will miss your old friends, but this is a chance to make even better ones- wait that came out wrong...this is a chance to make new ones,"

Naruto just frowned and nodded slowly, not really understanding what his father meant, "Okay..."

"Alright kiddo...now go and enjoy your first day of school, and whatever you do, STAY AWAY from the kid with the Straw Hat, he seems crazy..."

"Ok,I guess" Naruto said as he calmly backed away from Minato and went into the school.

Naruto strolled through the hallway and gasped. There were so many kids with so many abilities walking around the building. Each child showed a special skill or potential, some very powerful, and some very weak.

While observing the students, three safety patrols approached Naruto. One was wearing a snap back and a red jacket, another wearing a yellow sweater and tinted shades, and the last one wearing a purple Hawaiian shirt with gauze around his face.

Each had their names sewn in their belt, showing: 'AKAINU', 'KIZARU' and 'FUJITORA'

"What are you doing in this hallway, bub?!" Akainu demanded in a threatening tone. Kizaru and Fujitora nodded in agreement while pointing at Naruto.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked, genuinely confused.

But Akainu had no time whatsoever for games, "This is the fifth grade hallway and you are by no means a fifth grader, bub!" Kizaru and Fujitora once again nodded in agreement while pointing.

"He's right! We're gonna have to write you up!" Kizaru said as he pulled out a notepad, with Akainu and Fujitora following in suite, all three seemed to have been moving at the same speed.

They each ripped out the paper they were writing on and slapped it on Naruto's face, "Make sure we don't catch you here again, now SCRAM!" Akainu yelled, magma oozing from within his body, and the floor lightly started shaking.

Naruto's eyes widened and he ran off quickly. He didn't pay attention to his surroundings, and ended up slamming into another student. As Naruto flopped to the floor, he looked at the student. He had on an orange gi and his hair was defying gravity in all types of way, pointing in every single direction. He was a bit taller and looked experienced, easily an upperclassmen.

"Are you okay?" The student questioned, holding out a hand towards Naruto in a friendly gesture. Naruto took his hand, and the student hauled him up to his feet.

"Wow, thanks!...You are the first sane person I have encountered today!" Naruto said with a look of relief, "What's your name anyway?"

Goku suddenly took on a fighting pose, frightening Naruto, shouting, "My name is Son Goku, and I'm a Saiyan from Earth!"

'Oh no, not again...' Naruto thought with an annoyed sigh.

Goku sheepishly chuckled while scratching the back of his head, "Hehe, don't worry I won't hurt you if you don't want to spar, I'm not like Vegeta...watch out for him, he's the guy who makes unnecessary entrances-"

"BOW DOWN TO THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!"

Suddenly, the door flung open and two men came in, carrying a throne. Sitting on said throne was none other than Prince Vegeta.

Vegeta spotted Naruto standing next to Goku and immediately jumped out of his seat, "What do we have here?" He said with a smug grin, "Kakarot, hanging out with a low class weakling, how fitting!"

"Vegeta...stop making fun of the new kid! He just got here!" Goku said, defending Naruto.

"So? What are you gonna do about it, Kakarot?!" Vegeta scowled while walking up to Goku. Everyone could see the tension in the hall as the two boys glared at each other with hatred. Both power levels started to rise, and electricity started coming from the both of them.

Before one could lift a finger, the bell rung, signaling the beginning of school. Goku and Vegeta snapped out of the staring contest, and looked around to see everyone rushing to class.

"We'll finish this later, Kakarot!" Vegeta vowed, before climbing back onto his throne and took out his whip, "Start moving you animals!" He yelled as he started cracking his whip.

The men panted as they quickly carried Vegeta to his class. Goku then turned to Naruto with a bright smile and said, "I'm gonna go to class now, want a lift?" He placed two fingers on his forehead and waited for Naruto's answer.

"Yes please, I am looking for Class C4" Naruto explained.

Everyone gasped as they heard those words fall from Naruto's lips.

"THE Class C4!?" Goku said as he took a big gulp. The class was known for their random escapades and destroying property...He knew because he'd been there, only 4 years ago...

"Okay!" Goku's serious look went away as it appeared and he placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder, "Hang on!" Goku then concentrated on the energy of the teacher in Class C4.

Naruto, not catching the drift, stared at Goku, "Umm..what are you-"

Suddenly, Naruto appeared in front of his classroom. He blinked in shock and slowly turned his head towards Goku.

Goku simply chuckled and waved goodbye, "Until we meet again!" He then disappeared into thin air, leaving Naruto speechless.

The teacher, who was sporting a green turtleneck with brown slacks, loafers and glasses started at Naruto and coughed loudly, "You must be the new student, Mr. Naruto Uzumaki, correct?"

Naruto nodded and as he took a look at the class, his eyes grew in horror when he saw-

"HEY IT'S YOU!" Luffy shrieked as he jumped out of his desk towards Naruto. Suddenly, a kid with green hair quickly came out of nowhere holding two pairs of scissors in his hand and one on his mouth.

"NOT SO FAST LUFFY!" He shouted and swung at him, but he missed in an embarrassing fashion, crashing into the wall.

"Zoro, stop trying to fight me! I'm not in the mood right now," Luffy said with a groan.

He then looked back at the spot Naruto was previously standing to find out he was gone, "HEY! WHERE'D HE GO?!"

He looked around the room and saw Naruto about to take a seat, but Luffy's instincts kicked in and he leaped into the air, pushing Naruto out of the way and crashing into the floor.

"You idiot! That's Sasuke's seat, you can't sit there!" Luffy yelled as he smacked Naruto on the back of his head.

"You can't tell me what to do! Plus also, my Dad said not to talk to you!" Naruto scowled.

"I don't care what your stupid Dad said!" Luffy was getting ready to smack Naruto once more until he looked in his eyes. Naruto's gaze seemed to be fixated on someone else.

Luffy turned as a girl with pink hair walked in the room. He glanced at Naruto to see that his mouth was gaping open

The girl walked in slow motion and blinked twice with her green eyes.

"I think I'm in love..." Luffy and Naruto said in almost unison.

"WHAT?!" They screamed simultaneously, "YOU CAN'T BE IN LOVE WITH HER! I'M IN LOVE WITH HER!"

"Get off of me!" Naruto yelled he kicked Luffy away and walked up to the pink haired girl who just took a seat. She was currently talking to a short, pink-haired boy who seemed hyperactive.

"Yeah I was raised by a Dragon, pretty cool right?" The pink haired boy bragged while twirling his hair with one finger and whistling, "I would show you some pictures, but he can't fit in my camera..."

The girl just giggled at the boy's words, "That's, pretty nice...what's your name anyway?" She asked.

"NATSU DRAGNEEL!" He yelled and pulled out a lighter, flicking it on and off, "What's your name?" He asked while putting the lighter in his pocket.

"Sakura, Sakura Haruno...I'm new here as you can see-"

Natsu snapped his head back as a kid with black hair and his shirt off walked in, he had a snow cone in his hand and he wasn't eating it for some reason.

Natsu glared at the boy and screamed, "GRAY! DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT OUR FIGHT!" He rushed towards Gray and tackled him into the recycling bin, completely ditching Sakura.

Naruto took this opportunity to take the desk next to her, sweating nervously, 'This is my chance!' he thought excitedly.

Before he could say anything, Luffy came out of nowhere and landed on Sakura's desk, "Hello there!" He said with a smug grin as he glanced towards Naruto.

"Oh hi, I'm Sakura" She said with a chuckle, 'This kid seems weird, I mean look at that scar' She thought as she glanced at him.

Luffy grabbed her hand and kissed it, taking another glance at Naruto who's eye twitched, "I'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"

Naruto just shook his head and continued to watch.

Sakura's face was crimson red and she pulled her hand away from Luffy, "You need to slow down! I just met you like thirty seconds ago!" Sakura said with a growl.

"Come on baby, no need to be so mea-" Before Luffy could finish, Sakura punched him all the way to the other side of classroom, leaving him twitching on the wall.

She turned her attention back to Naruto, "Sorry about that, what's your name?"

Naruto gasped, "Me? Like me?" He pointed to himself with an unsure look on his face.

This made Sakura giggle and nod, "Yes, YOU!"

"Ahem, now look it may seem like I am talking too fast but I have been interrupted all day! I just wanted to say I am Naruto Uzumaki, and I like ramen and ninjas, I also drunk rotten milk once, but you don't need to know that. My Dad made us move because he is running for mayor here and now I have to make new friends and I just wanted to say I think you're pretty!" He finished in 10 seconds and started panting heavily.

Sakura blinked and laughed again, "Well you're interesting...I moved too because I have 'anger issues' apparently, I mean can you believe that?!" She laughed as Naruto turned to the twitching Luffy.

"Not at all, Shishishi..." Luffy sheepishly chuckled.

Suddenly the door swung open and everyone gasped, rushing into their seats in the blink of an eye. A boy with raven hair walked in and he stared down at everyone, he immediately caught Naruto in his desk and growled.

"Oh no!" Luffy whispered under his breath as the kid approached Naruto, he was sitting in his desk, "Dang it Naruto! I told you not to sit in Sasuke's desk!"

As Sasuke finally reached Naruto he picked him up by the front of his shirt collar and threw him into the wall, "Why were you in MY desk?!" He asked in a menacing tone.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM DUDE?!" Naruto shouted as he got up and rubbed his right arm in pain, "You could have just asked me to get up!"

Sasuke looked bewildered at the fact this new kid was talking back to him, "Why you little-"

Before he could do anything Luffy stepped in front of him, "Leave him alone Sasuke! You don't have to act like a prick everyday!"

"Stay out of this, Luffy" Sasuke said as his eyes started to turn red.

"Hey! If you mess with Luffy you mess with me!" Natsu shouted as he stood up and walked next to him, "You're a bully!"

Sasuke started to get really angry now. He grit his teeth and started to cup his left hand, "Last chance..." he said as electricity started to formulate in his palm.

"Enough Sasuke," A kid with orange hair said as he walked behind him, he was much taller than the other kids, and he had a blank face on, "I hate Natsu and Luffy as much as the next guy but this is too far! It's just a desk,"

Sasuke turned and stared at the kid, his eyes reverted back to normal and he sighed, taking his seat.

"WOW! THANKS ICHIGO! I KNEW WE WERE FRIENDS!" Luffy exclaimed as he ran up to him.

That caused Ichigo to groan, "I HATE YOU LUFFY!"

"You don't hate us Ichigo, admit it...we're your only friends!" Natsu said with a sly smirk causing Ichigo's eye to twitch.

Luffy pulled Naruto up and laughed, "Naruto, this is Ichigo, my second best friend!" This time when Luffy stated that however, Ichigo just sighed and went along.

Naruto just blinked and rubbed his temples, "I can tell that this is gonna be a LOOOONG school year" He whispered while Luffy dragged him to a seat.

"Sit here, this is the only open seat available..." Luffy said pointing at a desk in the front of the classroom.

The teacher finally stood up and groaned, "Good morning class" He started off with a tired voice, "We have two new students Naruto and Sakura, now will you two come to the front and tell us about yourselves,"

Naruto and Sakura both got up and walked in front of the chalkboard, standing in front of their peers.

After a long silence, Sakura coughed and went first, "I am Sakura Haruno, I like pink and I want to make some really nice friends,"

"NOT WITH THAT FOREHEAD!" Someone yelled from the back of the class, it was no other than Zoro himself.

Sakura growled and balled her hand into a fist before closing her eyes and humming a tune, "Very funny, moss head," She said with a smirk causing everyone in the class to scream.

"OOOOH! Zoro got burned by a girl" a student with orange hair laughed.

"SHUT UP NAMI!" Zoro retorted, "That wasn't even funny!"

"Moss head! Moss head!" The class began yell out loud before the teacher shut them up, "ENOUGH! Naruto go ahead,"

Naruto walked up and scratched his neck, "Hi I'm Naruto Uzumaki...I like ramen and ninjas, oh yeah, and my dad is running for mayor!" He said while crossing his arms, everyone stayed silent for a second.

"Wow your dad is the dude on the posters! My dad is voting for him!" A girl with black hair yelled.

"Of course he is Rukia, your dad is a stupid liberal!" Gray barked, this caused everyone to bicker about what their parents said about the upcoming election, but the teacher once again interrupted them.

"SHUT UP! Naruto and Sakura return to you seats. Now kids, my name is Mr. Colgeen" He said writing his name on the board.

"We already know your name Mr. Colgone," A girl with blonde hair and brown eyes said softly, causing Mr. Colgeen to nearly blow a casket.

"IT'S COLGEEN LUCY! GET IT RIGHT!" He yelled in frustration.

"Sorry Mr. Colglint" Lucy said with a frown, Mr. Colgeen just muttered something under his breath and went back to his speech.

"Anyway kids since we finally have an even amount of students we can do our groups of four," Mr. Colgreen announced.

"We have eleven students" Ichigo stated with a confused look.

"I don't care!" Mr. Colgeen said as he clapped his hands and pulled out a stopwatch, "You all have thirty seconds to find a group, BEGIN!" He yelled aloud.

Everyone picked up their desks and ran around the classroom finding people to merge their desks with, when the timer finally went off everyone was in a group except Naruto.

"Ok Naruto, you have a choice of two groups: Gray, Sasuke and Zoro or Natsu, Luffy and Ichigo...choose wisely," Mr. Colgreen informed.

Naruto glanced at the first option, Sasuke pointed at him and then pointed down, Gray glided his finger across his neck and Zoro, he was sleeping. Naruto then looked at the second group and saw Natsu and Luffy giving him intense stares and Ichigo was mouthing to Rukia silently.

Naruto sighed and filled up the final desk spot between Ichigo, Naruto and Luffy.

"OI FRIEND!" Natsu exclaimed as he playfully punched Naruto in the arm.

"Well it's 12:30 and there is only one hour and thirty minutes left of school so I might as well do attendance" Mr. Colgeen said as he pulled out a clipboard.

"Gray Fullbuster,"

"Here!"

"Ichigo Kurosaki,"

"Here!"

"Lucy Heartfilia,"

"Here!"

"Monkey D. Luffy,"

"HERE!"

"Nami, who for some reason has no last name,"

"Here!"

"Naruto Uzumaki,"

"Here!"

"Natsu Dragneel,"

"Here!"

"Roronoa Zoro,"

"Here!"

"Rukia Kuchiki"

"Here"

"Sakura Haruno"

"Here!"

"And Sasuke Uchiha"

"Well I'll take that as a yes, anyway since you guys destroyed my class AGAIN, you will spend the rest of the school day cleaning it!" Colgeen laughed and pulled out a large lunchbox.

"AWW MAN! Come on Mr. Colgeen!" The kids whined, but he just shook his head and started eating his sloppy joe.

"And make sure you don't leave anything behind, the supplies are over there on that table," He said, pointing to a large, circular table in the back while licking the barbecue off his fingers.

Everyone went to the table and grabbed some cleaning materials and started cleaning in groups.

"Ugh, some first day this is, I got wrote up, yelled at, thrown into a wall, met three weirdos and now this," Naruto grumbled under his breath, but Natsu heard him somehow.

"Come on, cheer up Naruto, this place isn't that bad, I mean what was your first goal when you came here?" Natsu asked.

Naruto pondered for a bit, "...To make friends?" He answered a bit confused while Natsu shook his head.

"And you did! The three of us!" Natsu explained, hoping Naruto would understand.

"Two" Ichigo yelled while sweeping the floor.

"Yeah the three of us!" Natsu repeated, making Ichigo growl angrily.

"Some friends you guys are! Luffy wouldn't back off Sakura!" Naruto said with an annoyed look, but Luffy heard and walked over.

"What?! Dude, I don't like Sakura, I just pretended to because I wanted to mess with you!" He said while pulling off his yellow gloves, "Besides Naruto, who was there to help you when Sasuke was about to flatten you into a pancake?" Luffy asked rhetorically.

"...You guys...I guess you aren't so bad after all!" Naruto chuckled and nodded, maybe this school year wouldn't be bad.

"Come on guys put your hands in!" Luffy said as he threw his hand in the middle of the circle, Naruto and Natsu following in suite, the three turned to Ichigo who groaned and reluctantly put his in.

"ZORO IS A CHUMP!" Luffy yelled as the others followed.

Zoro overheard and snapped at the four, "DANG IT LUFFY! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT ISN'T FUNNY!"

"Zehahahaha!" Luffy snickered as dodged the incoming Zoro, who punctured the electricity unit with his scissors.

"Uh oh..." Zoro mumbled while pulling away. Natsu walked up and pulled out his lighter, hovering it above the electricity unit just enough for another fire to start.

"THIS IS OUR CHANCE!" Luffy yelled as he ran out the classroom, the whole class followed as the sprinklers turned on, leaving a sleeping Mr. Colgeen alone.

He quickly woke up once a enough water fell into his mouth.

"WHAT THE?! AGAIN! SERIOUSLY!?" Colgeen yelled as he cursed the class under his breath.

After escaping the school, Class C4 went to get snow cones, Lucy's treat of course since she was the only one with money.

"You know, I'm still wondering...how does Sasuke have powers but we don't?" Naruto asked while taking a lick of his cherry snow cone.

"Eh he's some kind of child prodigy or something, I heard he could have skipped to the fifth grade but chose not to," Luffy replied while finishing his snow cone in one bite.

"Woah, fifth grade, I met a fifth grader once, they are really strong! Having their powers kick in must be awesome!" Natsu said with a shocked face.

"Yep..." Luffy said as started at the sky blankly, "It's getting late guys, we should probably head home" He said glancing at his wrist.

"Luffy you don't own a watch," Ichigo said while staring at his "friend" in a confused manner.

"Oh shut up, but in all honesty I better get going, grandpa is gonna kill me when he finds out I wasn't at school...again," Luffy waved goodbye to the class and took off running, one could only hope he came back alive the next day.

One by one everyone left until it was just Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and a very awkward silence.

"Sooo Sasuke, where do you live?" Sakura asked in a futile attempt to break the dead silence.

"With my dad and my brother across the street from here, but they are rarely around," He said with a yawn.

"Then why don't you just leave?" Sakura asked.

"I want to leave last, is it any of your business?" Sasuke asked her in a rhetorical manner

Of course, she answered anyway, "No but no need to be a jerk about it..."

"Whatever...also Naruto, make sure you tell your dad his fly is unzipped," Sasuke scoffed

Naruto looked flabbergasted as he turned to Sasuke who stared back, "I am going to get you one day as well, be prepared," He said as he squinted and stared the Uzumaki down.

"...Right" Naruto replied as he ran across the street all the way Minato's car, "NARUTO WHERE WERE YOU!? I WAS WORRIED-"

Before Minato could finish his scolding Naruto interrupted him, "Dad your fly is down"

Minato looked down and blushed slightly, "Hehe you're right, but doesn't excuse what you did today! I got a call from Mr. Colgeen and you are in BIG trouble young man, and blah blah blah blah!"

Naruto tuned Minato out and started at Sakura and Sasuke who were standing silently, not uttering any words.

'Man, that was a fun day, hopefully every day isn't like this though...that would be tiresome,' Naruto thought as the car zoomed down the streets, multiple 'VOTE FOR MINATO' signs were on lawns, billboards and much more.

'Yep, this is gonna be a LONG school year' was Naruto's last thoughts before falling into a peaceful sleep.

Next Time- Clubs and Powers

A/N: DragonBall787 here, this is an old fic I decided to repost, that I collabed with String Cheeze about a year ago. If you guys really like it, I'll post more chapters, and I'll take any suggestions for the fic!


	2. Chapter 2

Anime in Kindergarten Chapter 2, a Naruto + One Piece Crossover fanfic

Note: The following is a fictional parody. If you are offended easily, please leave and have a nice day

Edited/Co-Written by DragonBall787

Chapter 2 - Clubs and Powers

Everyone in class C4 was silent, taking an extremely hard math test, which only the smartest of students could pass.

"Two plus four!? That equals...nghhhhh!" Natsu started to think in an intense fashion, a vein throbbed on the side of his head. Mr. Colgeen took notice and groaned.

"Alright class pencil downs!" He yelled, but only about three people listened and the rest continued to write.

"LAST ONE TO DROP THEIR PENCIL IS A BUTTHEAD!" He yelled aloud causing everyone to put their pencils down in the blink of an eye.

Mr. Colgreen continued, "Anyway, after school is open today, meaning all second to fifth graders can stay and play cool games and join neat clubs,"

"And you needed to tell us that because?" Nami retorted rhetorically.

"I don't know, I hate you guys...now get out!" Mr. Colgeen snapped as the bell rung as if on cue.

"Man, I can't believe these guys get to have fun AT SCHOOL, that's oxymoronic..." Ichigo stated as he, Natsu and Naruto strolled down the hallway and out to the front of the school. Strangely, Luffy was nowhere to be found.

"I know ri- where's Luffy?"

As Naruto said that, two arms yanked the three by their collars and pulled them into a large bush, "Say no more guys, I have made a club of my own...and everyone is gonna be there!" Luffy gave a smug smile and handed them all flyers.

"Meet me at my house in thirty minutes!" Luffy shouted as he ran off.

"BUT MY DAD SAID I CAN-" Luffy was already gone before Naruto could finish.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was getting ready to cross the street before he spotted a sly man watching him from a bench. He seemed to be an agent of sorts. The man approached Sasuke who slowly went to draw a kunai.

"I'm not here to harm you, Mr. Uchiha", the man said while putting two fingers on a headset he was wearing, "I've been watching you all school year, you're a very talented boy...but I have spotted you with controversial mayor candidate known as Orochimaru, explain..."

Sasuke blinked and started to sweat, but thankfully the light had turned green at just the right moment.

Sasuke scurried across and walked upstairs to his house.

"I WILL BE WATCHING YOU, SASUKE!" The man yelled, a car then passed by and he was gone

"Creep..." Sasuke muttered under his breath as he walked inside his house, his dad was already starting dinner and his brother was playing video games.

"OOOOOH! You just got destroyed Shisui, let's play that back real quick! Nuts in your mouth! Just look, man oh man!".

"Yeah yeah whatever Itachi, I have to go anyway..." Shisui growled as he picked up his belongings, "Also, make sure you do the research paper tonight!"

As Shisui walked out he spotted Sasuke, "Hey little man, if Itachi bullies me tell me, I'll rough him up!" He said while ruffling his hair.

Sasuke just smirked, "Oh don't I have a lot of stories to tell-"

"Ok bye Shisui!" Itachi said as he threw him over the balcony and slammed the door shut.

"I'm going in my room, don't bother me," Itachi told his father and brother sternly.

"So, how was school?" Fugaku asked.

"Eh, the status quo," Sasuke replied.

\- At Luffy's House-

DING DONG!

"I GOT IT!" Luffy yelled as he ran down the stairs, however his brother tackled him and answered the door.

"Keep trying!" Sabo said as he walked out the chapter.

"...ok, that was the laziest character introduction ever" Luffy said as answered the door.

He saw Zoro's face and and almost slammed it until Gray stopped him, "Alright Luffy where are the babes!"

Gray threw a record and it landed perfectly in the record player, he and Zoro ran in and started dancing, for about two seconds.

"This isn't a party!" Zoro exclaimed.

"What? It says Luffy's party on the flyer!" Nami said as she came out nowhere.

"Really? False alarm guys!" Gray said as he and the rest of the class who walked in tried to leave, but Luffy quickly stood in the front of the door, "WAIT!"

"You guys have to join my club, pleaseeeeeeee?" Luffy stared everyone with puppy dog eyes as sad music randomly started playing.

Nami sighed, "Fine-"

"ALRIGHT GOOD! NOW YOU GUYS WAIT IN THE BACKYARD WHILE I GET THE SNACKS!" He ran off into the kitchen, but the doorbell rang and he immediately came back, "I GOT IT!"

As Luffy opened the door it was none other than Naruto and his...mom.

"Hi guys, I was so excited when I heard Naruto got invited to your little hangout! I'm Kushina, his mom and I brought a casserole just in case you guys got hungry, it has spinach and beef...at least I think," Kushina laughed as Naruto walked in.

"I hate when this happens..." Naruto sighed.

"So where are the other adults?" Kushina asked Luffy, who was busy trying grab a bag of chips on the top of the fridge, "Huh? Oh yeah Grandpaaaa!"

A huge old man walked out cranky, "DANG IT LUFFY WHAT IS IT-"

He saw Kushina and immediately gawked.

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.

When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.

I guess you'd say

What can make me feel this way?

My girl (my girl, my girl)

Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)-

"That's just sick grandpa" Sabo said shaking his head.

"Didn't you leave the chapter?" Luffy asked in a confused manner.

"I got hungry, now cut the filler and let's get on the Frieza reveal" Sabo snapped.

"Stop spoiling! Write him off!" Luffy shouted.

"You can't write me off-"

"I'm Garp by the way..." Luffy's grandpa said as he approached Kushina and winked, "A strong, proud, hardworking Navy General,"

Kushina smiled and shook his hand, "I'm Kushina, Naruto's mom, you might know my husband-"

"Ok I don't care," Garp said as he trudged up to his room and slammed the door shut. Soap operas could be heard from a distance.

"Anyway..." Luffy pulled Naruto out the backyard, but things didn't look so good.

"Frieza!? What's that two-bit hustler doing here?!"

He was terrorizing the children, throwing energy blasts around, giving wedgies, and noogies. He spotted Naruto and Luffy, teleporting to them instantly, "Two more small fries..."

-Back with Sasuke :)-

A loud knock was heard on the door and Fugaku went to answer it, it was a tall woman who knocked...and she seemed to have a clipboard.

"Hello I am here to see your son, Sasuke..."

-2 minutes later-

"What's wrong with Sasuke? Is it his grades?!" Fugaku demanded.

"No Mr. Uchiha, he is an exceptional student, but he has problems controlling his anger you see-"

"LIES! Sasuke is a good child Mrs. ...what's your name again?"

"Mrs. Van Leer,"

"Yeah! He is a good boy! I have never seen these anger issues!" Fugaku said in obvious denial, he knew Sasuke was crazy.

"Look I would like to speak to Sasuke ALONE," Mrs. Van Leer emphasized.

"Whatever!" Fugaku said as he went back to making dinner.

"Look I know how this is going to work, you're going to come here and act like you know everything about me, writing things down that don't make any sense, and then you're going to leave and never come back," Sasuke stated as he stretched.

"I do know that you are psychotic and crave love and affection from your brother so you take it out on everyone else," Mrs. Van Leer snapped back.

"...You're good,"

"Mhm"

-Back at Luffy's house-

Freeza slammed Luffy and Naruto's heads together and fired small energy blasts at everyone, Kushina was busy cutting everyone pieces of casserole to even notice

Up in the sky. a fifth grader was flying around with an army following him. He looked down and saw Freeza terrorizing some neighborhood children, "Again with this?!"

He flew down and stood behind the alien who was slamming Luffy into the ground, "Ahem,"

"Oh god it's you! Why are you always trying to ruin my fun, Alucard?!" Frieza groaned.

"Because you are always messing with little kids, it's not even bullying anymore, someone should call the cops on you," Alucard shook his head in shame as he saw the only adult, Naruto's mom, was too busy separating casserole

"You do the same the same thing, but WORSE! You suck people's blood and kill them in general you hypocrite!" Frieza accused.

"Yeah, but to other fifth graders! That's completely different!" Alucard defended himself, "I need it LIVE!"

"...Whatever," Frieza snorted in annoyance as he flew off to the sunset.

"Sorry about that you rascals, he's a jerk I know, but that's why you always use your powers to defend yourself," Alucard scolded.

"We obviously don't have any..." Gray stated while rolling his eyes.

"Oh yeah you're Kindergarteners, well powers don't kick in until second grade. Well, except if you are undead like me, born with the powers, have obtained them from an outside source, or if you're some type of being other than a human," Alucard stated while drawing on a chalkboard that appeared out of nowhere.

"So we are gonna have to deal with this for like two years!?" Sakura moaned as she rubbed her throbbing cheek.

"Pretty much, but don't worry you can always come to me if you need help with bullies or some convenience for the plot to get you out of a random situation," Alucard shrugged.

"Alright then, thanks...I guess," Luffy said as he got up and opened the door to let everyone inside.

"No problem..." Alucard smirked and dissipated into the air.

Kushina gave everyone plates of casserole and smiled, "Did you have fun Naruto?" She asked causing his eye to twitch.

"You bet...hehe," Naruto chuckled sheepishly.

-Sasuke's House-

"So Sasuke, why do you get so angry? Why are you ignoring your obvious problem? It can't be that you have a large ego," Mrs. Van Leer had been trying for about an hour to get Sasuke to open up, but to no avail.

"I don't have a problem, I don't have anger issues either, and I could care less what Itachi thinks of me!" Sasuke yelled.

"Sureeee, you clearly have a inferiority complex to him, don't you? But little do you know Sasuke, taking your anger out on the new kid will only give HIM an inferiority complex to YOU, that won't solve anything," Mrs. Van Leer noted.

"Oh really? And how would you know, I have no malicious intent towards Naruto!" Sasuke growled.

"You clearly do, I know this situation, you are gonna continuously mess with him so you can feel like Itachi...right?" Mrs. Van Leer drawled.

"...Fine! Maybe I am! But what's the big deal? I can't have a little fun?" Sasuke scoffed.

"Sasuke, just talk to him, you guys have much more in common than you think...I will be back next week to see your progress," Mrs. Van Leer got up from her seat and exited the house.

Sasuke sat at the dinner table with Itachi and Fugaku.

"Sasuke let's switch plates, yours is bigger than mine!" Itachi ordered.

"Fine!...-You know what, no! I'm gonna eat this large plate of food and you're gonna watch me!" Sasuke grabbed a turkey leg and took a gigantic bite, savoring it.

Itachi just smirked and went back to eating his food.

Fugaku then spoke of his big news, "So guys, I talked to this Minato guy, and he said we can come over to his house for dinner tomorrow! Can you believe it, we get to have dinner with the potential future mayor! He also told me how well you and Naruto get along Sasuke,"

"WHAT?!" Sasuke shouted.

-Naruto's House-

Naruto and Kushina finally made it back home and Minato was there waiting, he had a very ecstatic smile plastered on his face.

"Guess what? I made Naruto a new friend, I talked to this Fugaku guy on the way back from my speech and asked him if he could come to dinner with his family, he has a son named Sasuke who is just about Naruto's age!" Minato smiled.

"WHAT?!" Naruto shouted

Next Time: The Dinner Party


	3. Chapter 3

Note: The following is a fictional parody. If you are offended easily, please leave and have a nice day

Edited/Co-Written by DragonBall787

Chapter 3 - The Dinner Party

"Mom, do I REALLY have to wear this?!" Naruto flushed in embarrassment as he looked down on his orange tuxedo and thought,'This is the worst color you can get for a tux...'

"You're gonna look so cute in this!" Kushina said to herself while tying the tie onto Naruto. She didn't notice at all that it was a bit too tight on him.

"MOM!" Naruto snapped and she immediately dazed out.

"What!? Oh...sorry about that sweetie!" She apologized, while chuckling over Naruto's pouting face.

"You know, your father wore this when I first met him..." She looked up as a harp played in the distance.

Flashback-

"HEY LITTLE PUNK!" A young Kushina yelled at Minato who was sitting peacefully, reading a book about the Theory of Relativity.

She walked over and knocked the book out his hand, "YOU'VE BEEN SNEAKING GLANCES AT ME ALL DAY! SOMETHING YOU WANNA SAY?!"

Minato started to sweat nervously, his pathological lying started to kick in at sound of his voice.

"Yeah, it's just you're so ugly, you look like a horse...I mean red hair? How cliche can you get? That hairdo just screams 'I'm going to become a stripper in the near future' !" Minato teased.

Kushina started to grit her teeth, she pulled Minato off the bench and started to beat him mercilessly. All the people started to walk by as if they didn't notice anything.

"OW OW! OWWWWW!"

And that was the day Minato fell in love with Kushina.

End Flashback-

Naruto blinked and stared at Kushina, who seemed to be having the same expression. After a moment passed, they started to go back to what they were doing.

"Naruto, please don't mess this up, I know you must hate it down at that new school..." Kushina pleaded.

Naruto tried to explain, "No, I don't actually, I have some friends and we get to watch movies and stuff... only one problem, ok there is a LOT of problems...and one of them is about Sasuk-"

"Oh yeah! Naruto you two will along so well, don't worry, if he harms you I'll put the hurting on him!" Kushina promised.

Naruto tried to speak, "Well actually he-"

DING DONG!

Kushina yelped with glee, "It must be him now!" She ran down the stairs and opened the door, it was...Garp.

Kushina greeted, "Oh, hello Mr. Monkey? Or is Garp your last name?"

Garp scratched his head, "Just call me Garp, I'm here to speak to your husband about your porch, you see two friends of mine and I have been playing cards on this porch for years and we were wondering if-"

Kushina once again cut someone off as she pushed Garp out of the doorway, Sasuke's family had finally arrived.

"Hello Mrs. Uzumaki, I'm Fugaku Uchiha," He shook her hand lightly and then pointed at Itachi, "This is my eldest son Itachi, he's a bit grouchy today..."

Kushina smiled and kneeled down towards Sasuke, she pinched his cheeks until they were a bright shade of red.

"Ouch!" Sasuke shrieked as he pulled away from her. Kushina just wanted to pinch them even more.

"So, you guys should come in," She ushered the three into household.

Garp then walked up again, "But what about the por-" Kushina slammed the door in his face causing him to growl, "Man the nerve of that beautiful woman! I was in the middle of politely asking her a question and she just slams the door shut in my face!" Garp growled and jaywalked across the street.

He got to the other side and stood next to...a large, fifty-foot Dragon and a normal, bland guy.

"Can you believe this! We've had that porch forever! And now Mr. Big-shot mayor guy thinks he's all that!" The guy complained.

"ROAARRRR!" The dragon agreed.

"I know right, this is a travesty!"

"How about you guys just SHUT UP, and play on Garp's porch!" A purple man with large horns yelled from his large castle in the distance.

"IT'S THE PRINCIPAL COLD!" Garp shouted back, "I remember when I first met the porch..."

Another harp was heard in the background as Garp stared into the sky.

Flashback-

It was the summer of 1928-

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!" The guy yelled in confusion, "How old are you Garp?"

"What? Me? I'm abouttttt...127 years old," He stated proudly.

"ROARRRR!"

"Wow really? I expected you to be...older..." The guy muttered.

"Can it Igneel! Now will you two let me finish my flashback!" Garp yelled.

Anyways, it was the summer of 1928, and I had a full head of luscious hair...and a no good, two-faced son, who decided he was TOO good for the military and became a deadbeat nomad!

Garp panted angrily, causing his two comrades to blink in confusion.

Sorry about that... anyways I had friends before you two, their names were Sengoku and Smoker...and boy were they such a hassle.

"Man! Look at that nice porch, it's a shame we can't use it to play cards everyday, it's nicely developed, it isn't broken down and it's painted!" Sengoku said with a sigh, "...Oh well..."

Garp stared at the porch and walked towards the sidewalks and ran across the street, a man crashed into him...his car broke into an anvil.

"OK WOAH! That makes no sense!-"

"WILL YOU LET ME FINISH ISSHIN!? THANK YOU!"

Anyway I had crossed the street and sat down in one of the chairs, and boy I'll tell you, it was the most comfortable thing I've ever sat in, it was made out of the skin of three-hundred pirates.

"COME ON GUYS! THIS SEAT IS AMAZING!" Garp yelled

"Eh, whatever" Smoker said as he crossed the street and sat down..."You overhyped the seats" Smoker grunted.

"I didn't say ALL the seats did I?"

Sengoku was the last to cross, when he finally got there he pulled out a pack of cards and three played Go Fish! Until midnight.

End Flashback-

"Then, Sengoku and Smoker moved away and Isshin moved in, it was a sad day for the neighborhood..." Garp concluded his story.

"Wow, thanks Garp..." Isshin said while rolling his eyes in a sarcastic manner.

"ROAR!"

"What are we going to do about the porch?" Igneel asked. This caused a mischievous smirk to curl on Garp's face.

"Zehahaha!" He laughed maniacally.

-Inside the House-

Kushina started to cook dinner while Minato conversed with Itachi and Sasuke.

"So, Itachi...do you have a job?" He asked nervously. Itachi just started to laugh insanely.

"BAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOODNESS! WOOOHAHAHAHA!" He fell out of his seat and continued to laugh.

"That means no..." Fugaku said while fiddling his thumbs, an awkward atmosphere had taken over the dinner table.

"Soooo, did you see Dragon Ball Super?"

-Naruto's Room-

"Alright look Sasuke, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's just pretend to be friends until the night ends...got it?" Naruto grabbed the Uchiha's shoulders.

Sasuke just squinted, "And what happens if I just kick you butt for an hour?"

"I'll have you know that I watched Lassie three times today!...I can take anything!" Naruto bragged.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and sat on Naruto's bed, whistling, "...Got any games?"

"Nope, my Dad thinks games are propaganda generated by society to lower kid's self esteem and make them work for 'The Man'," Naruto bluntly stated.

"The Man?" Sasuke questioned.

"Yeah, he's some big shot know it all who ruins everybody's day...reminds me of you," Naruto said with a smirk.

"Funny," Sasuke said while yawning, "I'm going to take a nap, don't disturb me," Sasuke immediately lied in a fetal position.

Naruto looked at Sasuke's peaceful face and slightly smiled, "You aren't that ba-"

Sasuke started snoring before he could finish.

Suddenly, a rock was thrown at Naruto's window and he shrieked, "What the?!"

He opened it up and saw Natsu outside with a rock in his hand, "Jerk!"

Natsu threw another rock which hit Naruto in the face. Naruto yelled in pain, "What's your problem?!"

"You invite Sasuke to your house but I'm not allowed because I'm 'destructive'!" Natsu whined.

"Look, not now man, Sasuke and I just went through emotional characterization! Don't ruin this for me!" Naruto shut his window before another rock could hit him.

"Man, I really need to branch out and make more friends..." Naruto groaned.

-Downstairs-

The doorbell rung and Minato quickly ran to answer it, he would do anything to get away Fugaku and Itachi.

"I got it!" He said as he slightly pulled the door open. The door suddenly then flung open with a large force and 3 men with suits were standing tall and proud.

"Hey, you guys look familiar...aren't you Monkey D. Garp?" Minato questioned as he pulled at one of the men's fake beard.

Garp quickly slapped his hand away however; "We are the National Porch Inspection! And we think you have porch bugs!" Isshin, who was on the right of Garp, stated.

"Really? Porch Inspection? Where's your ID?" Minato asked. He wasn't buying any of this one bit.

"Here you go!" Garp pulled out a sticky note and handed it to Minato.

Minato snorted, "Your name is Yeknom D. Prag? Really?"

"Uhhh...Yes..." He coughed.

"You're not getting the porch!" Minato slammed the door and went back to the table.

The door rung again and Minato growled, he ran over and swung it open, "WHAT WHAT WHAT!?"

"Greetings, I am Yeknom D. Prag-"

Minato slammed the door shut once again, this time locking it.

"What the heck is his problem?" Yeknom stated as he walked back to his van, his colleagues followed in suite.

"Oh well, guess he doesn't want his porch bugs gone, they grow the more they are exposed to sheer stupidity..." Nihssi shook his head in shame.

Inside a small little crevice on Minato's porch, red, glowing eyes beamed, a hiss was also heard.

Natsu ran towards the front door and tried to push it with his shoulder, "You can't lock me out forever, NARUTO!" He continued to push and push until his shoulder turned purple.

"I can't do this all day long!" He said while tears streamed down his cheeks. Meanwhile, the porch bugs started to grow.

"We still have Plan B!" Garp said as he and Isshin walked up to the porch, Igneel saw Natsu and gasped.

"ROARRRR!"

"Natsu! You are supposed to be at the house!"

"Roar roar!" Natsu replied as he pointed at his shoulder, Igneel picked him up and placed him on his back, and flew off towards a large mountain at the center of the forest.

"That was stupid..." Isshin stated

Once again, the porch bugs grew, they about the size of a dinner plate at this point.

"Anyway! Back to the plot!" Garp said as rung Minato's doorbell, nobody answered.

The porch bugs started grow even more, the porch slightly cracked but no one had noticed.

"I was sure that would work" Garp picked his nose and went back to thinking. Isshin rolled his eyes and peacefully knocked.

Minato opened the door and smiled, "What can I do for you sir?"

"Listen, my moronic friends and I would like play cards on your porch, is that ok with you? Mr. Namikaze?"

Minato nodded and gave Isshin a thumbs up. He closed the door again.

"My God, that was genius! Pretending to be polite so we could get the porch!" Garp said while giving his friend a pat on the back.

"THAT'S IT! WE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" The porch split open and dozens of bugs flew out, hissing and spitting.

"It's called being nice and considerate to your neighbor, ever heard of that? Of course not! You are basically a convict!" Porch Bug #1 said while pointing at Garp in shame.

"And another thing, why is everyone in this town, selfish, greedy, stupid or clueless? Is that just a normal thing around here?" Porch Bug #2 added on.

"I mean seriously, it's only been 2 chapters!" Porch Bug #3 shouted.

The Porch Bugs flew inside Naruto's house, and all over the town basically, and started wreaking havoc, hurting everyone's feelings.

"You two are the absolute WORST parents I have ever seen!" Porch Bug #326 took the job of chewing out Minato and Kushina, "You never pay attention to your son at all! Do you even know he and Sasuke hate each other?"

Minato punched the insect but nothing happened, "What the absolute fuc-"

The Porch Bugs tackled Minato to the ground.

They then went into Naruto's room next, shockingly, Naruto was watching T.V. and Sasuke had just woken up, he took a seat next to Naruto and started to watch Lassie with him, they ignored the Porch Bugs as if they didn't exist.

"Well then..." The Porch Bugs cleared out and went to find more victims.

"AND YOU!" The Porch Bugs pointed at the author himself, what the heck?!

"Why call it Anime in Kindergarten if they are never in Kindergarten!? Also is says that it's about Naruto but we barely get any focus on him! Just the stupid side characters!"

The Porch Bugs were everywhere indeed, some of the townsfolk tried to use their powers but it kept failing. Suddenly, a large truck pulled up and the three men for earlier stepped out.

It was none other than Prag, Nihssi and Leengi.

"Guys! The only way to beat them is to STOP being major a**holes!" Prag yelled, everyone stopped and looked at him as if he was crazy.

"Yeah...who am I kidding! PORCH PATROL! ATTACK!" Prag slipped on a backpack with a plunger attached and started singing, "Who you gonna ca-"

"JUST GET THESE F*CKING THINGS OUT OF HERE!" Vegeta yelled as he tried to fight off an army, prying themselves on him, "THEY LOOK LIKE WORMS!"

"Right!" Prag then jumped and rolled through the shrieking citizens, suctioning Porch Bugs all over the place.

"NOOO! IT'S UNSANITARY!" One of the Porch Bugs yelled as he melted into a gooey substance.

Nihssi just poked one of them with a stick.

"DO YOU WHAT TYPES OF INFECTIONS YOU CAN GET FROM ONE SPLINTER!?" The Porch Bug was then poofed out of existence.

"ROAAAAR!"

"HEY PORCH BUGS! We abandoned the plot early in the chapter!"

"Whyyyyyy!? That's lazy writing!" The Porch Bug swallowed itself, "I REFUSE TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE!"

One by one the Porch Bugs started die off until there was one left...the queen.

Prag just closed his eyes, the other two followed, "PORCH PATROL MEGA ACTION AWESOME SUPER DUPER ROBOBOT!"

"Ughhh, Robo and Bot are the same thing! Don't use them as if they are different, it gets annoying quickly!" The Queen said as she roared, a large ball of acid fell into the street, creating a large crater.

Prag flew into the air with a golden hue surrounding him, he spun three times and appeared in an empty room, there was a large control pad and everything, Nihssi and Leenig appeared as well, all three of them were wearing white jumpsuits.

"BEHOLD, OUR MECHA B*TCH!"

"SO COOL!" Luffy's voice could be heard from far away.

"That's...cute," The Queen retorted, secretly jealous, '*sniff* I'm so much cooler than that stupid robot!'

She then jumped up about 50 feet in the air and fell back on top of the PPMAASDR, "Eat my larvae!" She shouted, a gray substance oozed from her behind onto the bot's visor.

"EWW! YOU B*TCH! TAKE THIS!" The MECHA shouted as he pimp slapped the bug.

She flew into 3 houses until she was at the top of King Cold's castle. The castle couldn't handle the weight, so it collapsed to the ground right in front of King Cold.

"NOOOOO! MY HAIR CARE PRODUCTS!" King Cold screamed in agony. He dropped down to his knees, and started sobbing while pounding the ground.

"...We have 4 more castles!" Frieza screamed.

"B-But my hair care products were in there!" King Cold sobbed.

"You OWN the company, you idiot!" Frieza screamed as he threw his father's hair product magazine (With his face on it) to the ground, and walked away.

"ENOUGH WITH THE FILLER!" The Queen screamed at everyone as she flew directly at PPMAASDR, tackling him into the forest, "TAKE THIS!" The Queen punched the robot repeatedly

"CRAP! Our durability percentage is going down!" Nihssi gulped and stared at the gauge, it was at 25% and showed no signs of raising.

"We have to use the final attack! The Deus ex Machina!" Prag pushed up two levers and the robot kicked the Queen off of him.

"Right!"

All three pushed one big button on their side of the panel and the robot rose up, his hand retracted and a blue beam started to charge, it kept growing and blew everyone back.

"THAT THING IS GOING TO KILL US!" Naruto yelled as he held onto a telephone phone, Sasuke held onto his leg and sighed.

"I'm sorry Naruto! You're aren't that bad even if you are punk, I promise if we survive we can be friends!"

"Good thing you will survive!" PPMAASDR yelled as the blue beam stopped charging, confetti came out and sprinkled on The Queen's face.

"That's it-" Suddenly she exploded into a million pieces, bug guts and blood flew everywhere and on everyone.

The robot fell apart and the three heroes stood proudly, "Our job here is done, now we will be expecting a fee of three-hundred thousand dollars?"

"Three-Hundred thousand dollars my a*s, you guys better clean this mess up or you'll get three-hundred thousand a*s whoopings!" King Vegeta said as he walked off, a bunch of angry citizens followed him.

"Aww man..." Prag said as he pulled out a broom and started sweeping the rubble.

"So everything will go back to normal next chapter?" Luffy asked his fellow classmates.

"Yeah...speaking of which did you know the moon was made of cheese!?" Zoro asked bewildered.

"Yeah right, Zoro" Nami said as she started to walk home.

"I'm serious Nami!" Zoro yelled as he chased her down.

Naruto approached Sasuke and coughed, "So...we survived..."

"Indeed..." Sasuke said as he dusted himself off, "See you at school tomorrow," He smirked while playfully punching Naruto in the arm.

"Yeah..." Naruto waved goodbye to Sasuke.

"Naruto you did it! And all it took was a life and death experience!" Kushina yelled with glee.

"Man, let's just go home" Minato said while he wiped the blood off of him, "I'm tired of today..."

"So...is Sasuke gonna come back over soon?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"No way! His family is super creepy! You can go over his house, but no Uchiha's stepping foot in my property!" Minato vigorously shook his head 'no'.

"But Dad-"

"No way! Plus also, you didn't want them over at first, didn't you?!" Minato put words into Naruto's mouth.

Naruto huffed in humiliation and turned red as his father started laughing at him, "Shut up, Dad!"

"Aw, don't be so salty!" Minato snickered as he ruffled his son's hair.

Naruto began snickering too and blushed. His dad hadn't joked with him like that in a while.

"Hey, are we going home now?" Kushina smiled.

"Yeah!" Father and son glanced at each other and flashed the same grin.

And so, the three walked home happily, spending more time together since forever.

Next Time: Cheese Moon 


	4. Chapter 4

Note: The following is a fictional parody. If you are offended easily, please leave and have a nice day

Edited/Co-Written by DragonBall787

Chapter 4 - Cheese Moon

"Woman, I'm telling you that the moon is made of of CHEESE!" Zoro yelled at the top of his lungs whilst slamming his hand on top on his desk. He and Nami had been arguing about this subject since yesterday.

Nami, who was drawing a map out of crayons, just rolled her eyes while her eyebrows twitched, "No, it isn't Zoro...that makes no sense AT ALL!"

"Nami is right, how could the moon be made of cheese? It produces light..." Lucy chimed in.

Zoro stared at her and squinted, "I wasn't talking to you, Ms. Richie Rich! And if you're so rich, what do you propose?!"

"Well, we could to Walmart, which my family owns, and buy a telescope..." She shrugged lightly.

Zoro was silent for a moment before glaring at Lucy, "Fine! But since Nami thinks she so SMART, she's paying for the telescope!"

"Oh please, you and Gray are just going to steal it like you ALWAYS do!" Nami stuck her tongue out and got up, her eyes turned into Beli, "But fine..I'll take you on! If I win, you gotta pay me one hundred beli!"

Zoro shrieked, "YOU FIEND! If I win...you have to, um...give me THREE beli!"

Nami snickered at Zoro's stupidity, but took advantage of it, "*gasp* You MONSTER! But, I accept!"

Nami and Zoro both stood and walked towards the door, "Anyone else want to come? Luffy? Rukia? You guys good?"

"I'll come!" Luffy beamed as he stood up, "Oh this will be great! We will be three pirates!"

Zoro and Nami laughed in unison: "Oh please Luffy that will NEVER EVER HAPPEN! Not even in an alternate dimension!"

Luffy shrugged and walked out, Natsu followed him because of course he did. Naruto and Ichigo decided to sit this one out.

Gray got up and walked next to Zoro, "I'll come to see Nami finally eat her words!" He slammed his right fist into his left hand.

"That's it? Well alright" Nami said as the kids started to walk out of the classroom.

"Hey! You guys- oh whatever" Mr. Colgeen yawned, he sat down on his rolling chair and started to sleep instantly.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Sasuke questioned while staring around the room.

Sakura leaned over to where Sasuke was and gave him a creepy smile, "So, tell me about yourself?"

Sasuke's eyes widened as he gulped in fear.

\- At Walmart -

The kindergarteners entered the store and looked around in wonder.

"Wowwww!" Luffy's eyes turned into stars as he ran off.

"Why do his eyes do that?" Nami asked

" They've done that since I first met him, he said he doesn't know why..." Natsu said blankly while shaking his head in sadness, "Poor kid..."

Natsu then looked at a box in far away isle and gasped, "Igneel!?" He held his cheeks and gasped, "No way!"

"Natsu that's just a regular toy dra- andddd he's gone," Gray stated.

Zoro just ignored them and put his hands into his pocket, a cocky smile was plastered on his face, "Well NAMI, let's find that telescope so you can pay up!"

"Whatever, but I'd rather go alone...I am allergic to idiots!" Nami sneered, making Zoro glare at her.

"Ugh, this will be great!" Zoro exclaimed and he and Gray started to march down the isles, "Nami has been ruining my fun since forever! Now she swallow her foot!"

"Zoro, you do remember the pact don't you?" Gray sneered while squinting.

"Wait, what pact?" Zoro asked

"You know, our 'bros before h**s' pact we made when we were 5!" Gray reminded.

"Ohhhh! Of course I do! What makes you think- no...no no no no no! You don't actually think that, do you?" Zoro shook his head in disgust.

"Wellll, I mean you are obsessed with beating her, don't you think you should just move on?" Gray asked.

"Of course not! You have to crush your enemies!" Zoro yelled.

"Oh really? When's Nami's birthday?" Gray tested Zoro.

"July 3rd, why?" Zoro immediately answered.

"Nevermind dude..." Gray said, then proceeded to whistle.

\- Wherever Luffy's at -

"Oh man! Just look at all this food!" Luffy's mouth watered and he started to cry tears of joy, "I am coming here with Grandpa from now on!"

He grabbed a box of cereal and ripped open the top, pouring all of the contents in his mouth.

"HEY! That was $6.75!" Someone yelled from a distance. He looked young, as if this was his first day on the job.

Luffy just looked confused, grabbing another box of cereal, "Look, I don't know what your talking about but I don't have any money

..."

The man growled, "SECURITY! SECURITY ON AISLE FIVE!"

Luffy gasped and two large men rushed towards him.

"AAAAH!" Luffy screamed as he ran off with the box of cereal.

The man smirked in victory but his boss' voice projected from his walkie, "Ned we need you on aisle seven, acts of protest going on!"

Ned stomped over to the lane and saw Natsu in a suit, holding a toy microphone.

"MY PEOPLE! OH MY PEOPLE! THESE ARE CLEAR ACTS OF RACISM! WHY IS IT THAT A DRAGON HAS TO BE KIDNAPPING A PRINCESS ON THESE BOXES!?" Natsu declared.

Ned just face palmed and walked over to Natsu, "Look, kid...I don't need this stuff today of all days, now please just take this free toy and leave!" Ned tried to hand Natsu a toy but Natsu just smacked it away.

"HOW DARE YOU TRY AND BRIBE ME!" Natsu yelled.

Ned started to sweat nervously as people around him shook their heads in disappointment.

'Dang it, I have a driver's test today! This kid has to scram quick!' Ned thought to himself.

\- Nami -

While Nami was walking around humming, she spotted the very last telescope and smiled.

"Well it's time grab this telescope with no interruptions or anyone that can get in my way whatsoever!" Nami smiled as she reached over and grabbed the telescope.

Right when she was going to walk away, it was snatched from her very hands, "D***! I knew this was gonna happen!"

She turned around to see Frieza's smirking face, holding the telescope box, "Looking for this?"

"Listen you bald headed lizard, give me that back and I won't hurt you too much!" Nami threatened.

Frieza gave an evil chuckle, "You really think you can hurt me? Listen up, I'm the strongest fifth grader in elementary, well the fourth strongest, Alucard and Medaka and Pegasus are there, but still! For personally insulting me, I will grant you a death wish..."

Nami started to slowly back away, before taking off into a full out run.

"Man, I gotta stop talking so much!" Frieza cursed to himself before running after Nami, "Come back you b****!"

\- With Zoro and Gray -

"Dude, why are we at the little girl's section?" Gray asked, both of them surrounded by pink, glittery clothes.

"I know where I'm going! The telescope is south from here!" Zoro announced, immediately walking west.

"Zoro, that's WEST!" Gray smacked his forehead, "You know what, follow me!"

The two started to walk towards the entertainment section, and by the time Gray got to the section with telescopes, Zoro was nowhere to be seen.

"...Zoro?...Aw s***! I lost him again!" Gray rubbed his temples stressfully.

\- With Luffy -

"Alright look guys, it's Internet sensation Datipinya!" Luffy yelled.

The guards turned immediately and glanced around, "Where?"

"DA TIP IN YA MOUTH!" Luffy slammed the box of cereal into one of their faces and bit the other's leg, a shriek was heard all over Walmart.

"WHAT THE F*CK!?" The guard curled up in a ball and clutched his leg tightly, Luffy took this opportunity to escape.

He ran out of the Walmart and ditched his friends in the process, "They'll forgive me!" He said to himself.

\- With Frieza and Nami -

Frieza sighed in exasperation as he could feel Nami's ki by the toy section, "Man, this is so boring when you can sense people..."

He decided to end the chase by phasing before Nami, who was cornered between the board games and the tennis rackets, "MWAHAHAHA! It's time for your death now! Any last words before I blast you to oblivion?"

"...Can I have a moment with my wallet?" Nami whimpered.

"...No!" Frieza charged up a ki ball, which was inches away from Nami's face, "Say hi to King Yemma for me, and tell him he owes me 5 bucks!"

But, before he was about to blast her to HFIL, there was a voice:

"GET THE F*** AWAY FROM HER!"

The ki ball dissolved as Frieza barely dodged a scissor attack.

There Zoro stood, with his two scissors in each hand and one was in his mouth, "Meet my three-scissor-style and prepare to face death!"

"...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Frieza couldn't help but bust out laughing at Zoro's words, "Jeez, kid you took it to a whole 'nother level when they said 'Don't run around with scissors'!"

Zoro glared at Frieza and put his bandana on his head, "You asked for it..."

Frieza chuckled and teased, "What are you gonna do, kid? Cut me to pieces-"

"Oni Giri!" Zoro crossed his two scissors across his chest and placed the blade in his mouth horizontally behind them. Zoro then approached Frieza at a high speed and cut through by swinging the scissors across his chest, resulting in a descending diagonal-crossing slash from both scissors. The scissors in his mouth made a horizontal cut from the left.

As Zoro went past Frieza, a small amount of blood trickled from Frieza's cheek. Nearly three small 2 inch cuts were visible on his chest, and each side of his cheek.

Frieza's eyes were in dead shock as he saw his own blood drop in tiny amounts on the floor.

He started trembling in anger, and his ki started to rise, "You...you...you made me bleed! A weakling kindergartener who plays with scissors, made me, the Great and Powerful Frieza, bleed?! You...you...you will pay for this!"

Zoro gulped as he took a defensive pose in front of Nami. That was his first time trying out that move, and he didn't really expect it to work.

Frieza slowly walked towards Zoro until they were only a few inches apart. In less than a half a second, Frieza smacked Zoro away with his tail, sending him flying into the bikes.

"Zoro!" Nami yelled as she was too terrified to move.

Zoro groaned while trying to get up. He eventually got to his feet, but collapsed back into the bikes.

Frieza rose up into the air, and charged up his ultimate attack, "Prepare to die, human-"

"FRIEZA!" A voice screamed from a few aisles away.

Frieza paused in his attack as he saw Goku Instant Transmissioned right in front of him, "Well, well, we meet again,"

"Frieza, I swear if you touch another living being, I will destroy you!" Goku threatened.

"Hmph...you really think you can beat me?...Fine, I'll rest...for now, but just wait- I plan to become immortal and destroy this Earth soon!" Frieza chuckled evilly as he planted himself onto the ground, and calmly walked out of Walmart.

Goku looked down at the two kindergarteners for a moment before his stomach growled. He turned pink and chuckled sheepishly, "I'll see you guys later...I'm starving!"

He then used Instant Transmission to disappear once again.

"Zoro! I'm here to kick some a**" Gray yelled as he ran over to the destroyed kids' section.

"Where were you!?" Nami growled and slapped him.

"Hey! I was playing NBA 2K16! The demo is really nice!" Gray defended himself.

"Yeah yeah, let's just go" Zoro grabbed the telescope and limped out the store. Nami and Gray followed him.

30 seconds later Natsu walked out and the store exploded.

BOOOOOOOM!

"What did you do!?" Gray questioned.

"Eh..." Was all Natsu said as he walked towards the forest.

Meanwhile, Ned cried and sulked,"I'm totally gonna get fired!"

"Ok then..."

-Zoro's House-

"Man, the Moon IS just a rock!" Gray said in disappointment, "Well that sucks...oh well, hope you have 100 Beli, Zoro..."

"You KNOW I don't have 100 Beli!" Zoro screamed at Gray.

"Oh well..." Gray gathered his stuff and left.

"So, since I can't pay, what are you gonna do?" Zoro smirked, thinking he was off the hook.

"Easy, I'm gonna add it to your debt," Nami shrugged.

"EH?! I HAVE A DEBT TO YOU?!" Zoro yelled.

"Of course! You don't think I let you borrow my colored pencils for nothing, do you?" Nami shook her head at Zoro's stupidity.

"I saved your LIFE! You owe me now!" Zoro yelled.

Nami thought for a minute before nodding, "You're right, I do owe you,"

Nami walked over to Zoro and hugged him, making him turn red "What are you doing?! Get off of me, woman!"

She let him go and smiled, "There, debt payed,"

"Hey! A hug doesn't count!" Zoro growled.

"*sigh* So what do you want? A kiss?" Nami asked sarcastically.

'Yes,' Zoro thought, but said instead, "...Be my girlfriend,"

"What?! Why?!" Nami stared at Zoro like he was insane.

"I dunno, somebody's gotta protect you..and you DID hug me," Zoro stated.

"Well, what about your stupid pact?" Nami asked, "Gray's gonna be mad at you!"

"He'll get over it," Zoro said, "Now am I gonna walk you home, or not?"

"...Okay!" Nami hugged Zoro again, but he didn't protest. She then grabbed Zoro's hand, and leaned her head against his shoulder. The two then started to walk home

"You know...you still owe me 100 Beli..."

"WHAT?!"

Next Time: The Big Mistake


End file.
